Thursday 23 August 2007

Beef Jerky

I've never told my brother this so I think it may come as a surprise to him. I only just remembered it.

Fifteen years ago, I was helping him paint his new flat on the Gallowgate.

I was standing at a window on the first floor looking out to the road, and a double decker bus passed. The bus was nearly empty on the top deck except for a few people down the front and the man sitting masturbating three seats from the back. Need to read that again?

That's right. He was a fifty year old guy whacking off on a bus.

Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for you reading this, the bus stopped right in front of my window. He was beating himself to a steady rhythm, but then I noticed some new passengers "coming" up the stairs. When they came up he quickly flipped his cock away under cover of his long beige flasher mac and sat very still as if nothing was amiss. The two people sat down completely obvlious to the guy and his seedy deed. The bus then "pulled off" and he was gone.

It struck me that I had a brilliant view of what he was doing and it had clearly not crossed his mind that he was driving past flats. And the funny thing, he had a small cock...that I do remember.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Hail brother!
Yes indeedy, it did come as a bit of a surprise. I used to while away the hours sitting in my chair within touching distance of the window & when not lecherously watching Anna Friel on Brookside, I would amuse myself watching the interesting people on the top deck of the buses. Had I known that all I had to do was stand up to see the really interesting people I wouldn't now feel as though I had wasted the last fifteen years of my life!!