Moan, Let’s Go Doon The Joab Centre

I was walking past the new job centre on Union Street and hanging out the door were some neds throwing plastic bottles at some other neds….behind me. The bottles were narrowly missing me and other passers by. I did think of passing comment but they looked a bit mental and there were more of them than me, frankly.

I looked in the window, through the rain of bottles and saw white polyester tracksuits and plenty of Burberry scarves and even more precariously perched caps. Their scarves were bunching up over the collars of their Helly Hansen waterproof jackets. It was like a bloody ned convention.

How sad when you see two teenagers walking through a major city centre wearing matching Helly Hansen jackets, red/blue with the little strip of yellow on the back. Who the fuck started that trend? I sometimes want to just say to them;

"Do you realise how fucking stupid you look?"

But alas, I may receive a knifing for my troubles. I’d rather live another day and enjoy looking at those sad asswipes.