Prams, Trains and Baby Ordeals

A colleague of mine gets the train home to a posh place on the way to Ayr and has to suffer the plebs that travel with her. She suffers them then tells us all about them the next day. Much hilarity.
One such incident was during the 5pm rush hour, and two young “ladies” got on with a pram.

If you think of the trains in Glasgow you could fit a pram in the area between the doors or in the area for baggage/wheelchairs. Oh no, these girls took their pram to the centre seats and jammed it in the aisle. They then took up 6 seats for themselves. My friend was sitting in the 4 seats opposite them, and  was wishing she could leave.

The young mother ignored the baby's cries for a while, and my friend, being a mother herself felt like checking the kid herself.

The baby kept crying, and eventually the mother lifted it out the pram and plopped it on her lap.

The kid was in a little all-in-one suit and was trussed up so tight in many layers of clothes that it’s arms and legs were sticking straight out in a star shape. It couldn’t even move.

My friend was sitting there thinking that the baby is too warm and feels like explaining to the inexperienced mother that maybe she’d stop crying if she wasn’t wearing so many clothes.
The young mum was showing much displeasure at the child for making a noise, and in between conversing with her friend is simply telling her baby;

“Shut it.”
She then had the idea of feeding the child. Yes! That’s right, it must be hungry, so she got a bottle and jammed it into the kid’s mouth which just caused screaming. The child pushed against it…no matter, she jammed it in again and again. The child screamed against being force fed, so the girl gave up moaning;

“Whit the fuck dae ye want?” (a loving mother perhaps?).

She then put the star-shaped baby back into the pram and told it to;

“Shut it,” and she went back to chatting while the kid screamed.

She maybe should have used a condom when the Boy From Burberry was pumping her.