One of my colleagues overheard this gem on a bus at 5pm one day recently. It was full with commuters.
There were a few people standing and at the front was a man holding a small baby. Someone pressed the bell to stop the bus at the next stop, but stood where they were, holding on to stay safe while the bus was still moving.
The bus kept going at the next stop and the man with the baby said to the driver there were people wanting off. The driver said...
"Well there's no-one down here waiting to get off and I can't fucking stop in between stops"
So the passenger had to stay where they were. Going round George Square there was a car parked at the corner which gave the driver a bit of trouble turning so he sounded the horn then let rip with a torrent of abuse at the parked car...which was unoccupied.
The man with the baby said to him "I think you should calm down a little"
The driver turned to him and said "I think you need a fucking personality transplant, what the fuck are you doing telling me that?!!"
Some re-training perhaps?
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Monday, 28 July 2008
Thursday, 13 March 2008
Bloodbus This Isn't
A colleague of mine was on the bus a couple of weeks ago at 5pm. The of the day so very busy and only standing room left.
There were several people standing in the centre aisle and at the front, just beside the driver was a man holding a baby.
Someone pressed the bell up the back somewhere fore the bus to stop at the next place, but it kept on going. Whoever it was hadn't deemed to move down the bus to grace the driver with their presence, so the man holding the baby quite politely raised a point with the driver mentioning there were people wanting off at the last stop
"Well there's nae-one doon here waiting to get aff and I cannae fuckin' stoap in between stoaps". Alrighty then.
As the bus then made it's way around George Square the driver had to manoeuvre round a corner where some diddy had parked his car. This kind of riled the bus driver somewhat and hammered on his horn and let rip with a torrent of abuse at the parked car which I think was empty.
The man with the baby said to him "I think you should calm down a little".
No.......don't.......say.......that.
The driver turned to him and said "I think you need a fuckin' personality transplant pal, what the fuck are you daein telling me that?".
I think he should get a job on one of those tour buses and be a real face to face advert for Glasgow. Then he could drive them somewhere for a group mugging.
There were several people standing in the centre aisle and at the front, just beside the driver was a man holding a baby.
Someone pressed the bell up the back somewhere fore the bus to stop at the next place, but it kept on going. Whoever it was hadn't deemed to move down the bus to grace the driver with their presence, so the man holding the baby quite politely raised a point with the driver mentioning there were people wanting off at the last stop
"Well there's nae-one doon here waiting to get aff and I cannae fuckin' stoap in between stoaps". Alrighty then.
As the bus then made it's way around George Square the driver had to manoeuvre round a corner where some diddy had parked his car. This kind of riled the bus driver somewhat and hammered on his horn and let rip with a torrent of abuse at the parked car which I think was empty.
The man with the baby said to him "I think you should calm down a little".
No.......don't.......say.......that.
The driver turned to him and said "I think you need a fuckin' personality transplant pal, what the fuck are you daein telling me that?".
I think he should get a job on one of those tour buses and be a real face to face advert for Glasgow. Then he could drive them somewhere for a group mugging.
Saturday, 10 November 2007
Tits Oot
On Friday I was on the train home from Queen Street and a woman got on at Charing Cross. 5pm on a Friday. I was expecting nothing weird.
She had a young baby in a pram, and she proceeded to arrange her bags, take off her coat and get herself settled in her seat, then she got the baby out of the buggy. I happened to have noticed that she was a lady of large proportions in the chest area. I'm a man. I see these things. She was also very attractive.
I was sitting against the window, an old man opposite me reading a book and a man to my right reading a large newspaper. She sat in the empty seat in our group of four and sat the baby on her lap. She chatted away to the baby for a couple of minutes.
Now, I wasn't expecting this.
She lifted her top with her free hand, pulled down her bra cup and squeezed a very large boob out and sat it there. She then fiddled with the baby a bit, moving it around on her knees, so her arm bumped her boob back and forth. She then arranged the baby and let it clamp on to her nipple.
The old man opposite me looked to his left and his eyes went wide. He quickly looked the other way, out of the window. The man to my right couldn't see shit as he was holding his large newspaper up in front of him, and he couldn't really just put it down so he could watch the show.
I couldn't really help but have a few looks, but as the old joke goes, the baby's head was spoiling the view. A couple of times though she did shift the baby so it became detached and she was left sitting there with her boob completely uncovered.
I can't deny it brightened up my train journey, and I'm hoping she gets on my train again. I think it's good that women can do this and feel comfortable enough to do it without fear of people asking them go somewhere else.
If there was some law proposed for this kind of thing, I'd vote for it.
She had a young baby in a pram, and she proceeded to arrange her bags, take off her coat and get herself settled in her seat, then she got the baby out of the buggy. I happened to have noticed that she was a lady of large proportions in the chest area. I'm a man. I see these things. She was also very attractive.
I was sitting against the window, an old man opposite me reading a book and a man to my right reading a large newspaper. She sat in the empty seat in our group of four and sat the baby on her lap. She chatted away to the baby for a couple of minutes.
Now, I wasn't expecting this.
She lifted her top with her free hand, pulled down her bra cup and squeezed a very large boob out and sat it there. She then fiddled with the baby a bit, moving it around on her knees, so her arm bumped her boob back and forth. She then arranged the baby and let it clamp on to her nipple.
The old man opposite me looked to his left and his eyes went wide. He quickly looked the other way, out of the window. The man to my right couldn't see shit as he was holding his large newspaper up in front of him, and he couldn't really just put it down so he could watch the show.
I couldn't really help but have a few looks, but as the old joke goes, the baby's head was spoiling the view. A couple of times though she did shift the baby so it became detached and she was left sitting there with her boob completely uncovered.
I can't deny it brightened up my train journey, and I'm hoping she gets on my train again. I think it's good that women can do this and feel comfortable enough to do it without fear of people asking them go somewhere else.
If there was some law proposed for this kind of thing, I'd vote for it.
Saturday, 4 August 2007
Prams, Trains and Baby Ordeals
A colleague of mine gets the train home to a posh place on the way to Ayr and has to suffer the plebs that travel with her. She suffers them then tells us all about them the next day. Much hilarity.
One such incident was during the 5pm rush hour, and two young “ladies” got on with a pram.
If you think of the trains in Glasgow you could fit a pram in the area between the doors or in the area for baggage/wheelchairs. Oh no, these girls took their pram to the centre seats and jammed it in the aisle. They then took up 6 seats for themselves. My friend was sitting in the 4 seats opposite them, and was wishing she could leave.
The young mother ignored the baby's cries for a while, and my friend, being a mother herself felt like checking the kid herself.
The baby kept crying, and eventually the mother lifted it out the pram and plopped it on her lap.
The kid was in a little all-in-one suit and was trussed up so tight in many layers of clothes that it’s arms and legs were sticking straight out in a star shape. It couldn’t even move.
My friend was sitting there thinking that the baby is too warm and feels like explaining to the inexperienced mother that maybe she’d stop crying if she wasn’t wearing so many clothes.
The young mum was showing much displeasure at the child for making a noise, and in between conversing with her friend is simply telling her baby;
“Shut it.”
She then had the idea of feeding the child. Yes! That’s right, it must be hungry, so she got a bottle and jammed it into the kid’s mouth which just caused screaming. The child pushed against it…no matter, she jammed it in again and again. The child screamed against being force fed, so the girl gave up moaning;
“Whit the fuck dae ye want?” (a loving mother perhaps?).
She then put the star-shaped baby back into the pram and told it to;
“Shut it,” and she went back to chatting while the kid screamed.
She maybe should have used a condom when the Boy From Burberry was pumping her.
One such incident was during the 5pm rush hour, and two young “ladies” got on with a pram.
If you think of the trains in Glasgow you could fit a pram in the area between the doors or in the area for baggage/wheelchairs. Oh no, these girls took their pram to the centre seats and jammed it in the aisle. They then took up 6 seats for themselves. My friend was sitting in the 4 seats opposite them, and was wishing she could leave.
The young mother ignored the baby's cries for a while, and my friend, being a mother herself felt like checking the kid herself.
The baby kept crying, and eventually the mother lifted it out the pram and plopped it on her lap.
The kid was in a little all-in-one suit and was trussed up so tight in many layers of clothes that it’s arms and legs were sticking straight out in a star shape. It couldn’t even move.
My friend was sitting there thinking that the baby is too warm and feels like explaining to the inexperienced mother that maybe she’d stop crying if she wasn’t wearing so many clothes.
The young mum was showing much displeasure at the child for making a noise, and in between conversing with her friend is simply telling her baby;
“Shut it.”
She then had the idea of feeding the child. Yes! That’s right, it must be hungry, so she got a bottle and jammed it into the kid’s mouth which just caused screaming. The child pushed against it…no matter, she jammed it in again and again. The child screamed against being force fed, so the girl gave up moaning;
“Whit the fuck dae ye want?” (a loving mother perhaps?).
She then put the star-shaped baby back into the pram and told it to;
“Shut it,” and she went back to chatting while the kid screamed.
She maybe should have used a condom when the Boy From Burberry was pumping her.
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