A Wee Bam Ned

This little occurrence was witnessed by a colleague on Tuesday evening in a B&Q store in Clydebank. He described the subject as a "wee bam ned" and being from Faifley himself he was more than acquanited with this type. His opinion not mine.

This wee bam ned was at the paint mixing desk and said to the girl behind it in his endearing Glaswegian dialect.

"Haw, whits that pure chocolate chip colour I waant mixed up fur me? That wan rer" he said pointing.

She couldn't figure out which colour he meant so he leant across the counter whining and pointing "That wan rer.....rer...cun ye see it?"

He leant back and stood up and to his horror realised the edge of the paint desk he has just leaned across was covered in.......paint.

He stepped back, arms out, looking down at himself.

"Aw naw, shite man, ya pure bastard". There was a straight line of white across his crotch of his dark blue trackies. Lacoste, Adidas, Nike.....doesn't matter.

"Fuck man, fuck man, ma new trackies man. Ther pure pentit". He had the pockets of his tracksuit in his fingertips pulling them out to the side, maybe trying to prevent anymore of his tracksuit becoming contaminated with the paint, but it only seemed to push his painted crotch forward.

New tracksuit. What a happy day.


for our non-Scottish visitors again, see here for definition of "bam"
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bam