Hogmanay 2007

Well, it went off without a hitch. I didn't fall over. I was at a friend's house along the road with his family, his sister's family and his parents turned up after midnight. It's fair to say I did well. I didn't fall over, but also fair to say I don't remember getting home.

I had my kilt on, and although there was no dancing in the kitchen this year I do think the kilt puts me in a different mood rather than just wearing a pair of trousers.

The evidence is that a couple of months ago, my brother was over at mine for a wee bevvy with his fiance and I was trying to persuade him that he should try a kilt for his impending wedding.

"There's no fucking chance" I think were his words.

So I gave him some more alcohol and said he could try mine on if he wanted. Trousers rolled up, kilt on, sporran on, jacket on. Tell him he looks lovely and the next minute he's saying "I'm, wearing a kilt at my wedding". That's the gemme.

Anyway, back to the kitchen. The same girl was there this year and because all the other kids are boys, she stayed downstairs with the adults. So, I'm in the kitchen and I see her mobile phone is on charge, and I say, "That's a nice phone, I was looking at that one myself".

She says "What phone have you got?" I tell her. She purses her lips and they turn down at the corners. Unimpressed.

She says "Why don't you get one then?" I say "I was going to wait a while before I buy it, I'm not sure".

And then she comes out with a gem of wisdom, and honesty that you can't disagree with...

"You mean, you're going to wait til it's cheap then?"

"Yes".

Bloody kids.