Two Bob For The Phone, Mate?

Yesterday I was walking to work on Union Street, and two neds in white track suits come out of a phone box asking if I can tap them two bob for the phone. I haven't heard that in years.

I replied with a look of concern "Did some wee bastard steal your mobiles you couple of fannies?".

Actually I said "No, I only carry notes on me".

That's not true either. I just said "No, sorry". Why the hell did I apologise?. It's the polite part of me, pushed along by the part of me that doesn't want to get stabbed.

Aw Whit Man

I was standing in Game in Braehead Shopping Centre a few hours ago, looking at some PSP games, when two young likely lads sidled up beside me. I say “likely lads”….I mean neds.

One of them picked up a game, and this conversation happened:-

Ned 1 “Aw whit man” (hands game to his mate)
Ned 2 “Aw whit man” (hands it back to his mate)
Ned 1 “Aw whit man” he says staring at the game and grinning
Ned 2 “Aw whit man” he says leaning over and also looking at the game .

That was it.

I was so tempted to get my 8 year old son to say it in earshot of them, but after considering it for a few seconds more, thought better of it, for fear I may have assaulted, head butted, banjoed, knifed or head stamped (happened before and I didn’t like it).

Probably best I didn’t.

I could have taken them though. Both of them. Couple of fannies.