It Was Like Gone With The Wind

On my way to work the other day on Buchanan Street I saw a couple sort of calling to each other from a short distance apart and slowly moving away from each other. They both had one hand raised in a sort of farewell gesture. He was walking backwards away from her, she was standing with her jacket over her arm and a bag at her feet.

Guy: "Alright, doll see you later."
Girl: "Alright, babe see you later."
Guy: "Aye see you later, at the hoose."
Girl: "I'll see you at the hoose?"
Guy: "Aye see you at the hoose later, doll."
Girl: "Alright Davy, I'll see you later, at the hoose?"
Guy: "At the hoose, I'll see you later."
Girl: "Alright sweetheart, I'll see you later, at the hoose."
Guy: "Alright sweetheart, I'll see you later" (still each with hand raised in a permanent goodbye).
Girl: "Aye sweetheart, I'll see you back at the hoose."
Guy: "At the hoose?"
Girl: "Aye at the hoose, I'll see you later."
Guy: "Alright doll, see you later."

A couple on their way to their respective offices?  No, a couple of junkies. Their clothes were old, worn, dirty, ill-fitting, the jacket over her arm was a manky anorak, the bag at her feet was a ripped supermarket poly bag, their hair left me with no doubt it hadn't seen shampoo in weeks, and their faces were dirty and worn.

I'm now glad they never kissed. But a warming sight all the same. Even those people can show a semblance of reality which the majority would recognise.

We should all learn a lesson from this. What that would be though, I don't know.

We've Got That Guy Again....Over The Shoes

Last year, I was walking down Buchanan Street in my lunch hour, and I bumped into a friend who is a Police Officer. He was dressed casually so I assumed he was doing a bit of shopping on his day off.

As I was talking to him I heard a burst of static from under his jacket and he cocked his head to one side to listen to his radio. He explained he was working in plain clothes looking for shoplifters. After a minute or so another guy came up to him, tapped him on the shoulder and delivered the immortal line...

"We've got that guy in the shoe shop, wanking over the shoes again."

Now the pertinent word here is again. They've got him again. I did wonder how many times he'd done it before. And how do you go about doing that. Get a pair of shoes and head off to a wee corner at the back or do it openly in the middle of the shop? I've never considered it myself.

I won't name the shop but it's a very nice shoe shop. You can't buy shoes for a tenner in there. Anyway my pal ran off to arrest the strange man.

I'd love to be in Court for that.

Elvis Makes Amends, and Drives a Mercedes Benz

I actually went out looking for strange people this lunchtime. A little walk along Gordon Street onto Buchanan Street.

Well lawdy lawdy Miss Clawdy, did I see one?

A nice black Mercedes was moving slowly in the traffic along Gordon Street. And the driver?

Thick black hair, quiffed, big sideburns, large framed gold glasses, and a brilliant white jumpsuit, huge collar, huge cuffs and covered with a multitude of different coloured stones.

If he's in hiding from the world, someone should have a word with him.