Blame Your Shoes

I've known for years that the floor on Central Station is very slippy, especially if I'm in my suit and black shoes with the smooth sole. It's the same at St Enoch Centre and Buchanan Galleries. As soon as I walk in I slip all over the place. I have to slow down, it's as if I'm walking on ice.

I was walking into Central Station at the Hope Street entrance this afternoon just after 5pm and a middle aged guy in a suit was in front of me. There's always a newspaper seller at the entrances and for the last few months there is also the people who give away the free Daily Records as you walk by.

Mr Suit decided that fraction of a second too late that he wanted one, and as he'd already walked past into the station, he turned quickly and strode back to the guy, but too late, his speed, his shoes and the smooth floor were the making of his superb acrobatic manoeuvre.

As he turned his feet went away from him and he pitched forward so much he had to put his hands out and then he overbalanced so his hands went to the ground as he twisted round, and with the quickness of this move his feet flicked up in the air so for a moment there was this middle aged guy in a suit doing a twisted half handstand. His feet were about four feet in the air.

Just as quickly as this all happened he composed himself, stood up a bit dishevelled with his suit bunched up around his shoulders, and casually leant around the newspaper guy and took a free paper, then set off at quite a speed into the station, clearly a bit embarrassed at having made an arse of himself in front of around twenty people. He made a bit of a show at looking at the soles of his feet and muttering 'tch'. That's right, blame your shoes.