Roller Blade Bandits

On Gordon Street a few days ago, an old woman came from behind me at a bit of a run, and pulling her suitcase which bumped down off the kerb as she ran out onto the road. She was running with her hand outstretched as if she was trying grab something. I then saw two 14 year old boys on roller blades trying to get away from her. I thought they may have robbed her.

They both had long hair. But not cool long hair, the kind that looked like a girl's. Big flock of seagulls at the front and sweeping round and down their back into a wee curl. White t-shirts and flowing open shirts. Wee knob heads.

They'd been throwing those little bangers at people. I thought I'd heard a woman's high heels clicking behind me but it was those little gits throwing bangers. This old woman had taken exception to them and tried to catch them. I could hear her swearing behind me.

To be honest it made me angry and I felt like grabbing them myself. And I could have. Even though they were on roller blades they were going as fast as anyone else walking along. But... I couldn't be assed. One nearly got hit by a car as he flew across the busy street. Christ that would have been satisfying. Little prick.

Customer Service Gone Too Far

On the Helensburgh train into Glasgow a couple of weeks ago I was sitting opposite a very pleasant old couple who had a suitcase and smaller hand luggage. I guess they were around 65 years old. The suitcase was protruding into the passageway and the old man was taking care not to get it in people's way.

His wife started sifting through a white envelope with some travel documents and I was trying to get a wee look to see where they were off to. No matter, across the front of the envelope she had scrawled in huge red felt pen "London Tickets" in very squint writing. That's nice, a wee 10 hour trip on the train for them down to the big smoke. At their age too. There's no way I'd do that.

At Central the guy got up and I was of a mind to offer to help him with his case up the stairs off the platform. In amongst all the people disembarking, the ticket collector appeared from behind us and grabbed the handle of the suitcase. The old man was holding the little lift up handle at the end which allows you to use the wheels. The ticket man (TM) grabbing it caused the old man (OM) to look round and the following conversation ensued.

TM " I'll give you a hand with this off the train."
OM "Oh no, it's alright, I can manage, thank you."
TM "No, it's okay, I'll help you get it off."
OM "No, really, I can manage," (turning away).
TM "It's not a problem, it's bit awkward to get off with this."
OM "I can manage, it's fine."

He went to move and turned back and realised the ticket guy was still holding the handle.

TM "I insist, I'll help you get it down to the platform."
OM "It's fine really, it's not heavy."
TM "No, it's okay, I'll help you with it."
OM "It's fine, I can manage on my own."

The old guy stared at him, and I saw his wife is looking at little bemused. There was silence on the train except for the screeching from the wheels, metal on metal as the trains slowed down.

Inside my own head I was screaming "Let the bag go !!, he doesn't want it."
TM "Are you sure, I can lift it down for you."
OM "I'm sure, I'll get it myself."
TM "It's really not a problem, sir, I can get it for you."
OM "Really, it's fine, I can do it myself, it's okay."
TM "Oh well, if you're sure."
OG "I'm sure."

At last the ticket man let go of the handle and stepped back to let the wife past, beaming at the old guy, at which point he says simply :-

TM "Customer service !"

Customer assault more like.

Scooter / Suit Not Good

Today a bloke in a suit went zipping along the platform at Queen Street lower level on one of those two wheeled scooters.

He had a wee backpack on and had his nose up in the air as if he was trying to streamline himself against the winds coming down the platform.

Not a good look.