The Minister's Cat

This is a game my family play every New Year when we get together. It’s been done since as far as I can remember. Everyone in the room takes a turn by describing the minister’s cat with an adjective starting alphabetically. Everyone does ‘A’ then ‘B’ and so on, by saying the full line “The minister’s cat is an active cat” etc. According to Wikipedia it's a Victorian parlour game. How quaint.
Last year was the first year my son joined in. He was seven years old. As we went through the alphabet I realised with some uneasiness we were nearing the letter ‘F’.
Now, just to say…. I swear. I do. And sometimes I do it in front of the children. I know I shouldn’t. They know it’s bad as I’ve explained that to them and that these are words they shouldn’t say. I’m in no way a prude of any sort I don’t think but some of my family are a lot older and well, their values and outlook are different.
So, last 1st January, my son was sitting in the middle of the room with a toy, and doing very well with all the letters up to ‘E’. I was starting to get very nervous and my wife and I exchanged glances wondering if we should prompt our son with a suitable ‘F’ word to use.
When it came to it, he thought about it slowly and actually said “The minister’s cat is an effing cat”. Not a fucking cat, but an effing cat. So close, but potentially quite bad as well. There were a few nervous laughs, and we moved on.
A few days ago, I sat my son down to explain that we’d be playing this game again in a few days, and not to use any naughty words. Time will tell.
There is also another highly entertaining factor in this game, in our version anyway. It’s the elderly uncle who sometimes nods off to sleep during it. When it’s his turn, we have to shout at him to wake him up and remind him, and then he takes ages. He’ll stare at a point off in the distance and we think he’s ‘gone’. After a minute or so, my Aunt will remind him and he’ll slowly say “Aye, aye” in his really soft voice, then as is normal after another minute or so, he’s says the line “Which letter are we on?” It’s a drag, but very amusing.
So, if my son says “Fuck” in front of my eighty year old relatives on New Year’s Day I’ll report back.