She Shags Me Then...

Last week, I was heading home on St Vincent Street, and there was a guy walking towards me talking on his mobile and gesticulating wildly. He was a student type guy.

He was talking very loudly and telling the listener...

"She shags me then tells me to fuck off the next day. If I did that to here there would be riots in the streets, I'm telling you."

A woman walking in front of me just about pished herself laughing at him.

Riots in the street? A little over expectant? And was this not a perfect result?  Not having to call her again?

Two Senses Down, Four To Go

Today, crossing the street outside Queen Street Station, I was behind a woman with headphones on and a backpack. some tinny music was battering away.

When she walked off I saw the white cane clicking away left to right in front of her. she must be psychic or just kidding us on. If you're blind, if it not a good friggin idea to make sure you can hear as well??!! Maybe one day I'll be just in time so see her get blatted by a bus.

What's In A Text?

Recently I was walking in the St Enoch Centre behind a young couple and the blonde woman started cicrling her boyfriend trying to grab his hands. He had her mobile in his hand and she was begging him not to read it. I thought he might just hand it over but he kept a hold it and it went up in the air, behind his back, anywhere she couldn't reach.

The more he did this the more she begged him and became angry then upset at him while constantly asking him not to read the message.

This went on two to three minutes and I was dying to go up and ask her what the hell was in that message. What naughty text did she get that her hubby should not see. Maybe it was his best friend telling her what he'll do to her next time they meet.

Wet the baby's head

I was at Asda today, and when driving in I saw a woman about 50 years old walking out through the carpark. She was pushing a pram, and in the tray underneath, had various bottles poking out. I could see two whisky bottles. On top of the pram, perch on the cover that stretches over the baby's feet to keep the wind off was a 12 pack of Miller beer.

Some people.

Blind Man

The other day on on Argyle Street, I saw a old man walking along clicking his white cane back and forth on the pavement.

He had a camera slung around his neck. How's he going to take any pictures, or would he just click away and hope for the best?